Just before Dave and I got married, I discovered a Facebook page called 31 Days of Prayer for Your Husband. I “liked” it. It sounded like a great resource. And when the prayers would pop up on my newsfeed, I would pray them.
On our honeymoon, I told Dave about it. I was like, “look what a cute wife I am, I pray these Facebook prayers for you!”He thought it was great though. He asked me what the prayers were like. So I went to the page, and started reading them to him. I became immediately self-conscious. I realized how selfish the prayers sounded. (This is not meant to bash on the page, or whoever created it, because I’m sure they did it with entirely sincere motives.)
I think it’s a natural tendency to try to change or control people through our prayers. (Especially as women, since we are often tempted to try to change and control people in general.)
All of the prayers are/were wonderful things that women should want for their husbands. But as I read them out loud to my husband, they sounded very self-motivated. Some examples: “That he will grow in leadership skills in our relationship – protecting and providing for us.” “That he will be faithful to his wedding vows.” “That he will be pure and undivided in his commitment to me.” “That he will be honest in his business dealings and never do anything he needs to hide from others.” All good things. But ultimately, as I read them, it sounded like, “Lord, please make my husband a better man and a better husband.”
Every morning before he leaves, my sweet husband snuggles me for a couple of minutes. (Our schedules are different and I’m almost always asleep when he leaves.) As he lays there, I hear him whispering under his breath, and I know he is praying for me. I can’t hear what he is saying but I guarantee you he is not asking God that I become a Proverbs 31 wife. (Which is the biblical way of saying, Lord, please help my wife become a queen of domesticity and get better at doing her wifely duties.) I have heard his prayers for me in other moments, and most of the time, they are simply for God to bless me with His love and grace.
So here are my prayers for my husband. There are not 31, there are 20, because that’s just what came out of my heart. The first 12 are for him, and the last 8 are for our marriage. I will do my best to pray them every day.
1. Father, I pray that You will pour Your abundant love into my husband’s heart. I pray that You will help him to know today how wide and high and long and deep is Your great love for him.
2. Lord God, today I ask that You will help my wonderful husband to find his identity in You. I pray that You will remind him that he is Your son, and he is accepted and loved by You, just as he is.
3. God in heaven, please give my husband strength for the journey. Remind him that he does not have to work in his own strength, but in Yours, and fill him with that strength today.
4. Father, I pray that You will fill my husband with Your joy today. Give him every blessing that You desire to give him, and help him to take joy in all the blessings, and even in trials, as they produce perseverance and stronger faith.
5. Lord God, please fill my husband also with Your peace. No matter what he faces today, please remind Him that You are God, and You are in control.
6. Father, I ask that You will help my husband to walk in freedom today and every day. You have forgiven his sins and set him free from bondage, and I pray that the enemy will not get a foothold in any area of my husband’s heart today.
7. Father I pray that You will give my husband a clear understanding of Your will for his life today, and in this season. Please give him grace as he strives to be obedient to Your will.
8. Lord God, I thank You for the wise husband you have given me. I pray that You will continue to fill him with wisdom so that he will grow in his knowledge of You, and so that he will know how You desire him to respond to anything he faces today.
9. Lord I thank you for my husband’s hunger for Your word, and his reliance on it. I pray that You will speak to him today, through Your living word, and help him to hide it in his heart so that he will not sin against You.
10. Lord God please help my husband to clearly hear Your voice. I know he is listening. I ask that You will quiet the voice of the enemy, the voice of our culture, and any other voice that is contrary to Yours. Help him to hear what You have to say to him today.
11. Jesus, if there is anyone that my husband needs to forgive, help him to do so today, so that he will not leave the door of his heart open for the enemy to enter in. Help my husband and me both to forgive as You forgave us.
12. Lord, please help my husband to rest in You. I pray that he will trust You in everything and that he will be able to just relax and enjoy the view of what You are doing.
13. Father I pray that You will be glorified in our marriage. Help us to place You above all else, and to place one another as our greatest priorities here on earth. Help us not only to believe that in our hearts but to act it out in our lives.
14. Lord God, I pray that You will strengthen and bless our marriage. Help my husband to lead and me to follow, and help us to grow in love for one another every day.
15. Jesus, help my husband and me to have Godly attitudes and speak Godly words to one another today. Help us to have patience with one another, as You have patience with us. Help us to speak words that encourage and build one another up.
16. Father, please give my husband and me the strength and grace to be faithful to our marriage vows. Please help us both to guard our hearts against anything that would harm our marriage.
17. Father, I pray that You will provide for our finances. I pray that you will help my husband and me to trust You in that area and to be good stewards of what You have already given us. I pray that You will give my husband favor at work and allow his labors to be fruitful.
18. Lord God I ask that you will bless the intimacy between my husband and me. Please increase our spiritual, emotional and physical connection to one another.
19. Father, I pray that you will help both my husband and me to surround ourselves with people who are Godly influences upon our lives. Please help us to be humble and to always seek wise counsel for our lives.
20. Lord, I thank You and praise You for my wonderful husband and for the blessing of marriage. I pray that You will give us grace today and every day to be obedient to Your word and will, and help us to be Godly examples to others.