I’ve been thinking a lot about etiquette over the last few months. My mother is very big on etiquette. In this day and age, many forms of etiquette have gone out the window. (And, in many cases, common courtesy has left with them.) As I planned my wedding, I skimmed through an etiquette book, which was, for the most part, outdated. I am nowhere near my mother’s level of understanding and abiding by proper etiquette. But it does make me sad that the average person in my generation has little to no understanding of the practice. So, I’ll share some tips for going to weddings. (Note to my wedding guests: this is not a personal attack. I love you guys.)
The Nichols via SMP
1. RSVP. I seriously can’t emphasize this one enough. The bride and groom have taken the time to include a response card, with an envelope, which is addressed, and they’ve paid for a stamp. All you have to do is check yes or no and stick it in the mailbox. Easy as pie. They are trying to keep track of a LOT of people, so please do them this favor. (Even if you’ve already mentioned that you’re coming. Send it in.)
2. Do not bring anyone who is not specified on the invitation. Unless you have heard specifically from the bride or groom’s mouth to your ears that this is not the case, they are inviting the people who are named on the invitation. “Miss Elizabeth Smith,” for example means only Elizabeth. “Miss Elizabeth Smith and Guest” means she may bring ONE guest. If she is married, “Mr. and Mrs. John Smith” means the couple only… even if they have children. If the children are invited, they will be specified on the invitation. Some weddings do not include children, and some only include children of close family. Do not assume yours are invited. The point is, someone is paying a pretty penny for EACH person who attends, and they don’t want the awkward responsibility of having to explain this to you, when you respond that you are bringing your girlfriend of two weeks and her daughter, and your mom. Don’t do it.
3. Try not to ask the bride and groom about details. The bride and groom love you. (Or at least one of them does.) Otherwise you would not be invited to their wedding. But they have a LOT to worry about in the months, and especially weeks and days leading up to the wedding. Questions like “where should I stay?” “what should I wear?” “what time is the ceremony?”The bride and groom have most likely included a web site on their invitation, which should answer all of these questions. Hopefully you know or two other people attending the wedding, and can ask them. Try not to bother the bride and groom with it unless you have to. They are dealing with a lot.
4. Don’t wear white. This one is for the ladies. Guys, you can obviously wear a white shirt. This one is actually what inspired the post. I went to two weddings this weekend. At one of them, I wore a dress which has some white on it. I was a little concerned about it, but the dress was mostly black, so I figured it was fine. And it was. I did, however, see a girl wearing something like this:
It looks like a mini wedding dress, amiright? I don’t know if people are unaware of this rule or just don’t care, but there are plenty of colors to choose from ladies… just stay away from white.
There are plenty of others, but that’s all for now. Feel free to add some in the comments if you’d like!
Kat Braman via The Moment Junkie
Sorry this Monday Moments post is super late in the day! Hubs and I had a whirlwind weekend, attending 2 friends’ weddings in two cities! We just got back this morning. SO much fun though. And I have so much inspiration to share.
Anyway, how cute is this bride?? I love her.
Ok that’s all for today, I am dead tired. But more tomorrow and lots of fun things coming your way this week, I promise!
Since I have now undergone the full process of planning my own wedding, I feel more qualified to share some tips than when I was a single girl.I will share my tips in a series of steps, to give you bite sized chunks to chew on.
Magnet Street Weddings
Step One – Set a budget.
Who is helping? If you’re not sure if anyone in your family is going to help you pay, initiate that awkward conversation. (With parents – not so much other family unless you are very close to them and suspect they want to help.) Find a gentle and humble, but direct way to ask how they would like to support you in the wedding planning process. (Financially or otherwise.)
Aaron Snow Photography
Get specific. If there are parents/grandparents/aunts/uncles who want to help – wonderful! But try not to let them get away with the “we’ll see how much things cost as we go along” bit. You can make a wedding happen on a $5,000 budget – very tricky these days, but possible – or you could spend $80,000+ on the extravagant wedding you always dreamed of. (The average wedding costs $27,800! According to The Knot) The point is, you can NOT plan a wedding without having at least a general idea of what the cost will be overall. If no one is helping you, sit down with your beloved and come up with a realistic number. The wedding budget calculator on The Knot may help you. (This post is not sponsored by The Knot, they are simply a helpful resource.)
Set prioties. Once you have an overall wedding budget, decide the things that are most important to you. (Prioritizing will be a separate post later but it has relevance here.) When you think of your wedding – what is the first thing you picture? Your amazing dress? The stunning photos hanging on the walls of your home throughout your marriage? Your family and friends eating delicious food and having the time of their lives on the dance floor? The things that come to your mind first are usually the most important to you, so you may want to budget out more funds for those things. Note: If parents/family are helping you pay, their opinions matter too. Even though it is your day, if they are footing the bill they will most likely want a say. Sit down with them and have an honest conversation about priorities in the beginning, before you’re in the middle of planning and stress levels are high. If you are sharing the cost, consider letting your loved ones pay for the things that are most important to them, while you pay for what is most important to you.
2 Brides Photography
Map out the details. You will inevitably make changes as you go along, but your life will be easier if you factor in every detail in the beginning, and have a general idea of what you will spend on each. Lists are your friend at this stage (and all the stages, in my opinion.) Factor in attire, decor, photography/videography, flowers, music, paper goods, rings, transportation, lodging, bridal accessories, bridal party gifts, everything! This way you won’t have spent all your budget and then realize you forgot to factor in an important detail.
Adjust your expectations. If you can’t afford your dream venue, stop thinking about it. Just like on Say Yes To The Dress, do not try on wedding dresses that you can’t afford. (I actually made that mistake accidentally but it worked out in the end.) Don’t shop outside your budget, it will only make you frustrated and sad. Believe that you can have the best day of your life on any budget, because you can. Focus on the things that you can afford, and how to make them amazing.
Have fun! This is not the most fun task in the planning process. But this will be my advice every step of the way. Keep in mind what it’s really all about – marrying the love of your life and celebrating with family and friends. You can have an amazing wedding at any cost.
Love Out Loud Studios
To make the most of your budget, visit The Budget Savvy Bride, The Broke Ass Bride, and A Practical Wedding. There are tons of resources out there to help you. Hop to it, sister.
Last week I shared my favorites/the most wedding appropriate songs from the current top 40 list. If you missed it, check it out.
Tanja Lippert Photography
This week, the only new song on the chart is We Can’t Stop, by Miley Cyrus. I can’t really recommend this for your wedding, because, frankly, it annoys the $#!+ out of me. Mostly the creepy voice-changer man saying “It’s our party we can do what we want” like a little girl at her birthday, but with a weird deep/scary voice. But, if you’re a big Miley fan, then you just go for it, girlfriend. More power to you.
I went through the charts from June and July, and added the songs which have fallen off the charts to my Top 40 Spotify playlist. Here are a few which are no longer on the charts, but are still awesome.
1. Suit & Tie – Justin Timberlake feat. Jay-Z – Um, hello. This just makes sense for a wedding, clearly. The radio edit though. Who doesn’t love a little JT?
2. Daylight – Maroon 5 – For cocktail/dinner time. Or maybe even for the last dance/exit song – “This is our last night, but it’s late, and I’m trying not to sleep… When the daylight comes I’ll have to go, but tonight I’m gonna hold you so close.” It sort of depends how you interpret those lyrics but I think they can be sweet if you’re an optimist.
3. Ho Hey – The Lumineers – One of my faves. For cocktail/dinner time, or maybe even for the ceremony for fun couples. “I belong with you, you belong with me, you’re my sweetheart.” Super cute.
4. Wings – Little Mix – Not really my style (kind of reminds me of an updated Spice Girls song) but it’s fun. For dancing, or it could even be used for the bouquet toss! I could totally see that working. Do it.
5. Carry On – Fun. – Another awesome one for cocktail/dinner time. Fun. Literally.
Your Soundtrack = My response to brides asking for music help. If you would like help with music for your wedding day, contact me! I’d love to do what I can.
Today’s soundtrack is for Andrea. (Funnily enough the last one was another Andrea! Very different weddings though.) Here’s what Andrea had to say: “I love your blog! It is about time someone tried to update wedding music and add some current songs. I really need some help with mine. My fiancé Andrew and I love all types of music, but we are mostly alternative/indie and rock lovers. Some of our favorite artists are: U2, Adele, The Lumineers, The Black Keys, Florence + The Machine, MGMT, Fun., and Jack White. Music is one or our favorite things, but we are having a hard time, because we want acoustic guitar music (maybe with a singer) for the ceremony and DJ for the rest. Our wedding is in Napa at a private estate. [The colors are yellow and gray.] Any help you can give is greatly appreciated!”
Boutonnieres: Rowell Photography via Exquisite Weddings Tablescape: One Love Photography via The Knot Bridesmaids: Trent Bailey Photography via SMP Bridal Bouquet: Melissa Schollaert via Martha Stewart Weddings Bridesmaid Bouquet: Sweet Monday Photography via SMP Dinner: One Love Photography via SMP Bride & Groom: Rad + In Love Photography via A Desert Fete
Ok, Andrea. Let me first say: The acoustic part was tricky. I ended up just throwing in a bunch of my favorite acoustic songs in hopes that you’ll like them too. I will also say that the cocktail/dinner songs, are almost entirely by the bands you mentioned and bands like them. I have never made a playlist quite like this one, so I may have gotten a little carried away. (Which I tend to do, aout 87% of the time.) If you’d like to get some ideas from other styles/genres, you can check out the playlists I’ve made for others, or visit our Listen To The Music Page. Anyway I hope these songs inspire you!
U2 – All I Want Is You
Nick Drake – Northern Sky
Band of Horses – No One’s Gonna Love You
Joshua Radin – Only You
The Raconteurs – These Stones Will Shout
Iron And Wine – Love And Some Verses
The Beatles – I Will
Sufjan Stevens – The Dress Looks Nice On You
Bright Eyes – First Day Of My Life
Jose Gonzalez – Heartbeats
Cat Power – Sea of Love
Zee Avi – Just You And Me
The Lumineers – Flowers in Your Hair
Big Star – I’m In Love With A Girl
Coldplay – Til Kingdom Come
Hellogoodbye – Oh, It Is Love
The Lumineers – Ho Hey
U2 – With Or Without You
The Killers – Human
The Black Keys – Howlin’ For You
Fun. – Carry On
Peter Bjorn And John – Young Folks
MGMT – Kids
Of Monsters And Men – Mountain Sound
Spoon – I Turn My Camera On
Mumford & Sons – White Blank Page
Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros – Home
Cake – Love You Madly
The Cure – Friday I’m In Love
Jack White – Take Me With You When You Go
The Flaming Lips – Do You Realize??
Bon Iver – Skinny Love
Florence + The Machine – Shake It Out
The Killers – Read My Mind
Adele – Make You Feel My Love
The Raconteurs – Steady, As She Goes
Florence + The Machine – Dog Days Are Over
Fun. feat. Janelle Monáe – We Are Young
The Lumineers – Stubborn Love
Modest Mouse – The World At Large
Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros – Man On Fire
Dave Matthews Band – Crash Into Me
Jack White – On And On And On
U2 – Beautiful Day
The Temper Trap – Sweet Disposition
Mumford & Sons – Lover of the Light
The Police – Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic
Adele – Daydreamer
The Raconteurs – Level
Peter Gabriel – In Your Eyes
MGMT – Time To Pretend
Of Monsters And Men – Little Talks
Florence + The Machine – Cosmic Love
Fun. – Some Nights
U2 – Sweetest Thing – The Single Mix
Coconut Records – West Coast
Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros – Janglin
Peter Bjorn And John – Objects Of My Affection
Modest Mouse – Float On
Cake – Short Skirt/Long Jacket
Jack White – Wayfaring Stranger
The Raconteurs – Hands
Adele – Lovesong
MGMT – Of Moons, Birds & Monsters
The Cure – Lovesong
The Black Keys – Girl Is On My Mind
The Waifs – Love Serenade
Noah And The Whale – 5 Years Time
Dave Matthews Band – You & Me
The Killers – Miss Atomic Bomb
The Rolling Stones – Wild Horses
Phillip Phillips – Home
The Lumineers – Dead Sea
Spoon – I Summon You
Band of Horses – Marry Song
Fun. – The Gambler
Of Monsters And Men – Love Love Love
Coldplay – Clocks
The Zombies – This Will Be Our Year
Adele – Crazy For You
Imagine Dragons – It’s Time
The White Stripes – We’re Going To Be Friends
Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros – 40 Day Dream
Jaymay – Gray Or Blue
Bon Iver – Beach Baby
The Raconteurs – Blue Veins
Jessie Ware – Wildest Moments
Adele – Best For Last
Mumford & Sons – Sigh No More
Imagine Dragons – On Top Of The World
Matt and Kim – Daylight
MGMT – Electric Feel
Jackson 5 – I Want You Back
Katy Perry – Firework
The B-52′s – Love Shack
Daft Punk – Harder Better Faster Stronger
Def Leppard– Pour Some Sugar On Me
Icona Pop – feat. Charli XCX – I Love It
Bon Jovi – Livin’ On A Prayer
OutKast – Hey Ya!
Journey – Don’t Stop Believin’
Franz Ferdinand – Do You Want To
Michael Jackson – Billy Jean
La Roux – Bulletproof
AD/CD – You Shook Me All Night Long
Martin Solveig – Hello
Kenny Loggins – Footloose
M.I.A. – Paper Planes
Michael Jackson – The Way You Make Me Feel
Phoenix – Lisztomania
Lynyrd Skynyrd – Sweet Home Alabama
Daft Punk – One More Time / Aerodynamic
Prince & The Revolution – Let’s Go Crazy
Metro Station – Shake It
Bon Jovi – You Give Love A Bad Name
Rihanna – We Found Love