I’ve been thinking a lot about etiquette over the last few months. My mother is very big on etiquette. In this day and age, many forms of etiquette have gone out the window. (And, in many cases, common courtesy has left with them.) As I planned my wedding, I skimmed through an etiquette book, which was, for the most part, outdated. I am nowhere near my mother’s level of understanding and abiding by proper etiquette. But it does make me sad that the average person in my generation has little to no understanding of the practice. So, I’ll share some tips for going to weddings. (Note to my wedding guests: this is not a personal attack. I love you guys.)
The Nichols via SMP
1. RSVP. I seriously can’t emphasize this one enough. The bride and groom have taken the time to include a response card, with an envelope, which is addressed, and they’ve paid for a stamp. All you have to do is check yes or no and stick it in the mailbox. Easy as pie. They are trying to keep track of a LOT of people, so please do them this favor. (Even if you’ve already mentioned that you’re coming. Send it in.)
2. Do not bring anyone who is not specified on the invitation. Unless you have heard specifically from the bride or groom’s mouth to your ears that this is not the case, they are inviting the people who are named on the invitation. “Miss Elizabeth Smith,” for example means only Elizabeth. “Miss Elizabeth Smith and Guest” means she may bring ONE guest. If she is married, “Mr. and Mrs. John Smith” means the couple only… even if they have children. If the children are invited, they will be specified on the invitation. Some weddings do not include children, and some only include children of close family. Do not assume yours are invited. The point is, someone is paying a pretty penny for EACH person who attends, and they don’t want the awkward responsibility of having to explain this to you, when you respond that you are bringing your girlfriend of two weeks and her daughter, and your mom. Don’t do it.
3. Try not to ask the bride and groom about details. The bride and groom love you. (Or at least one of them does.) Otherwise you would not be invited to their wedding. But they have a LOT to worry about in the months, and especially weeks and days leading up to the wedding. Questions like “where should I stay?” “what should I wear?” “what time is the ceremony?”The bride and groom have most likely included a web site on their invitation, which should answer all of these questions. Hopefully you know or two other people attending the wedding, and can ask them. Try not to bother the bride and groom with it unless you have to. They are dealing with a lot.
4. Don’t wear white. This one is for the ladies. Guys, you can obviously wear a white shirt. This one is actually what inspired the post. I went to two weddings this weekend. At one of them, I wore a dress which has some white on it. I was a little concerned about it, but the dress was mostly black, so I figured it was fine. And it was. I did, however, see a girl wearing something like this:
It looks like a mini wedding dress, amiright? I don’t know if people are unaware of this rule or just don’t care, but there are plenty of colors to choose from ladies… just stay away from white.
There are plenty of others, but that’s all for now. Feel free to add some in the comments if you’d like!