Marriage Mondays | You Don’t Have To Understand

Sometimes, my husband understands me better than anyone. No matter who might think I’m quirky, crazy, or wrong, he gets me. He understands. And it’s such a comforting, wonderful feeling.

05b5ccc22ee8acfcc45a64126b2f184eRyan Ray Photography

And then there are times when he doesn’t understand. For whatever reason. Perhaps because I am female and he is male, which spells out thousands of intricately opposing details in our genetic makeup. Maybe it is the vastly different upbringings that we came from. Or just our personalities. I’ve mentioned before, how different we are. It could be any or all of these things.

What I’ve been realizing lately though, is that even though it feels amazing when he does understand me, he doesn’t always have to. He just has to support me. And he always does.

Mini Playlist | Country/Ranch Inspiration

Happy Monday! Some ranch inspiration (from my very own hometown!) and country tunes for your viewing pleasure today. Check out these lovely images from Orbie Pullen Photography, and see more of them on the inspiration shoot on Ruffled.

T1Orbie Pullen Photography

Bridal Entrance: Hey Pretty Girl – Kip Moore

Recessional: Somebody Like You – Keith Urban

Reception Entrance: Truck Yeah – Tim McGraw

First Dance: When You Say Nothing At All – Allison Krauss & Union Station

Father/Daughter Dance: I Loved Her First – Heartland

Cake Cutting: Honey Bee – Blake Shelton

[…] Soundtrack To I Do […]

Your Soundtrack | Caitlyn (Vintage Shabby Chic Wedding + Pop/Rock/Oldies Playlist)

Your Soundtrack = My response to brides asking for music help. If you would like help with music for your wedding day, contact me! I’d love to do what I can.

Today’s soundtrack is for Caitlyn. Here’s what Caitlyn had to say: “I want you to put together a soundtrack for my wedding!!! We’re going for the whole vintage-shabby chic theme! We’re two VERY outgoing people who love all genres of music (with an exception of classical). He’s very into alternative and I’m very into laid back, relaxing music (Colbie Cailet, Jack Johnson, Norah Jones, etc.), and my favorite band is The Beatles. We would like to have several of the fun, upbeat, dance songs (cha cha slide) and a lot of the classics from Frank Sinatra, Buddy Holiday, etc. included as well. We do love Texas Country and would love to have a mix of that. Casey Donahew Band, Josh Abbott, Randy Rogers, Stoney LaRue, etc. Thank you SO MUCH!”

She also included a LONG list of songs from her fiance (love when grooms have opinions!) so I included all the wedding appropriate songs from his list.;)Hope this helps you Caitlyn!

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Bride: Jessica Janae Photography via Bridal Musings Table: Our Labor Of Love via Southern Weddings Stationary: Joyeuse Photography via Ruffled Lavender: KT Merry Photography Centerpiece: Simply Bloom Photography LLC. via Wedding Chicks

Cocktails/Dinner

Norah Jones – Come Away With Me
Alan Jackson – Remember When
Sara Bareilles – I Choose You
Frank Sinatra – Love Is Here To Stay
Stone Temple Pilots – Interstate Love Song
Josh Abbott Band feat. Kacey Musgraves – Oh, Tonight
Colbie Caillat – Make It Rain
The Cranberries – Linger
Stevie Ray Vaughan – Texas Flood
Jason Mraz – I Melt With You
Old Crow Medicine Show – Wagon Wheel
Nat King Cole – L-O-V-E
Randy Rogers Band – One Woman
The Beatles – Something
Jason Mraz – I’m Yours
Lady Antebellum – Just a Kiss
Jack Johnson – Better Together
Eric Clapton/B.B. King – Come Rain Or Come Shine
Josh Abbott Band – She’s Like Texas
Stone Temple Pilots – Atlanta
311 – Love Song
Jason Mraz – You & I Both
Phillip Phillips – Gone, Gone, Gone
Dave Matthews Band – You & Me
Casey Donahew Band – White Trash Story
Coldplay – Til Kingdom Come
Stoney LaRue – Oklahoma Breakdown
Colbie Caillat – I Do
Maroon 5 – She Will Be Loved
Incubus – Pardon Me
Fun. – Some Nights
311 – Amber
Randy Rogers Band – Kiss Me In The Dark
Dave Matthews Band – Steady As We Go
Stevie Ray Vaughan – Life By The Drop
Stoney LaRue – Velvet
Frank Sinatra – The Way You Look Tonight
Bruno Mars – Marry You
Plain White T’s – Rhythm Of Love
Colbie Caillat – Like Yesterday
Hunter Hayes – Wanted
Stevie Ray Vaughan – Pride and Joy
The Beatles – I Will
Jason Mraz – Lucky
Pearl Jam – Yellow Ledbetter
Fun. – Carry On
Etta James – At Last
Mazzy Star – Fade Into You
Pearl Jam – Sirens
Eric Clapton/B.B. King – Marry You
Casey Donahew Band – Double-Wide Dream
Frank Sinatra – Fly Me To The Moon
Train – Marry Me
Led Zeppelin – When The Levee Breaks
Old Crow Medicine Show – Down Home Girl
Adele – Make You Feel My Love
The Beatles – I Want to Hold Your Hand
Red Hot Chili Peppers – Snow [Hey Oh]
Stone Temple Pilots – Plush (Acoustic)
Randy Rogers Band – Interstate
The Lumineers – Ho Hey
Casey Donahew Band – Stockyards
Norah Jones – The Nearness Of You
The Cranberries – Zombie
Pink Floyd – Wish You Were Here
OneRepublic – Good Life
Old Crow Medicine Show – I Hear Them All
Ray LaMontagne – You Are The Best Thing
Josh Abbott Band – Touch
Matt White – Love
Incubus – Wish You Were Here
Stoney LaRue – Feet Don’t Touch the Ground
The Beatles – And I Love Her
Stevie Ray Vaughan – Tin Pan Alley
Dean Martin – Ain’t That A Kick In The Head

Dancing

Jackson 5 – ABC
AC/DC – Back in Black
Michael Jackson – Billy Jean
Macklemore & Ryan Lewis feat. Ray Dalton – Can’t Hold Us
Mr. C The Slide Man – Cha Cha Slide
Cupid – Cupid Shuffle
Usher – DJ Got Us Fallin’ in Love
The Contours – Do You Love Me
Michael Jackson – Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough
Pitbull – Don’t Stop the Party
Wang Chung – Everybody Have Fun Tonight
Chris Brown – Forever
The Spencer Davis Group – Gimme Some Lovin’
Jerry Lee Lewis – Great Balls Of Fire
The Rolling Stones – (I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction
Jackson 5 – I Want You Back
Madonna – Like A Prayer
Bon Jovi – Livin’ On A Prayer
Bruno Mars – Locked Out Of Heaven
Red Hot Chili Peppers – Love Rollercoaster
The B-52′s – Love Shack
M83 – Midnight City
Maroon 5 – Moves Like Jagger
INXS – Need You Tonight
LMFAO – Party Rock Anthem
Def Leppard – Pour Some Sugar On Me
AC/DC – Rock n Roll Train
The Isley Brothers – Shout
Guns N’ Roses – Sweet Child O’ Mine
Lynyrd Skynyrd – Sweet Home Alabama
Michael Jackson – The Way You Make Me Feel
Pitbull – Timber
Bruno Mars – Treasure
The Beatles – Twist And Shout
Rihanna – We Found Love
Usher – Yeah!
Bon Jovi – You Give Love A Bad Name
AD/CD – You Shook Me All Night Long

Marriage Mondays | Communication

I’m guessing that a lot of the marriage books out there will stress the importance of communication in marriage. If not, they’re probably missing something. Here are a few things I’ve learned from experience (so far) on this topic.

 c15df82b127e2d6e3133e25f4e6d1774Ampersand Wedding Photography via Something Turquoise

1. Know your style(s) 

My husband thinks everything through completely before discussing it. And I would say that this scripture is his guideline for communicating “…whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think (read: TALK) about such things.” -Philippians 4:8

I wish I could say the same. I am a verbal processor – I figure out how I feel about things and/or what I want or need to do about it AS I talk about it. Whether it’s pure and lovely or messy and ugly, I have to talk it through.

2. Be willing to modify your style

I will probably be working on this one for the rest of my life, and my husband may be as well. But what we have learned, from having such different styles, is that we won’t get anywhere without a little compromise.

Because my husband tends to think (a lot, and for a long time) before he speaks, I sometimes become aggravated when I am yammering on and he continues to say nothing. He, in turn, gets tired of the endless flow coming out of my mouth. When I finally realized, the problem, I (like always) discussed it with him. I let him know that if he doesn’t participate in my “verbal processing process” (if you will) the process will just. keep. going. He informed me, in turn, that he doesn’t always know what to say or needs time to think about it. I told him that all he has to say are things like “I understand” or “I see why you feel that way” or “I agree” (only if he does, of course.) This will make me feel validated, which is an important part of the process for me, and I will probably stop talking and not continue to beat a dead horse. If he has more to say later, when he has thought it through, he is welcome to do so.

I, on the other hand, have learned to tone it down. (Well… I’m a work in progress.) When I talk to my mother, sister, or girlfriend, I could rant about 17 subjects all in one breath, intertwining them all together even if they have nothing to do with one another, and she will follow along effortlessly. This is just how God made the female brain. But the male brain likes to work on one thing at a time. I knew this, vaguely, before marriage, but I didn’t take it to heart until living with a man who just can’t follow my 35 tangents in one conversation. So I do my best to stick to one subject at a time.

3. Do not expect your spouse to read your mind

I really want my husband to read my mind sometimes. I want him to just know what I want, what I need, or what I am feeling, without me saying anything. But this is unrealistic. I have made a conscious effort (since I know this can be a wife’s downfall) to communicate what I want/need/feel and not resent my husband for not just magically knowing it. I do not expect him to read my mind – so when he does know what I want, need, or feel without me saying it (which he often does) I appreciate it all the more!

4. Leave some things unsaid

My pastor always says, “Leave 3 things unsaid each day.” It’s a good policy.

I also like this one. Before you speak, think…. Is it:

True

Helpful

Inspiring

Necessary

Kind

(If you didn’t notice, that spells think. It’s a good way to remember!) Leave out what isn’t necessary, especially if it isn’t kind, true or helpful. I think “inspiring” is kind of a filler to complete the acronym, but it’s always nice to inspire too.;)

5. When in doubt, communicate

Despite my last point, communication is important. There have been times when I second guess whether I should communicate something with my husband because it might not be entirely necessary or kind. But then I feel like it’s festering inside me. That doesn’t work either.

Don’t overthink it too much. If you’re angry, wait it out until you’re in a better space to discuss an issue. If the conversation is going in circles, take a break. If you’ve said something that offends your spouse, apologize before continuing. But communicating is one of the most important parts of marriage, if you ask me. Whatever you do, don’t neglect to do it.

[…] Soundtrack To I Do […]

Fun Friday | We Are On Instagram!

That’s right people, I finally broke down and got an instagram for the blog! Come follow us for blog updates, behind the scenes, and a little bit of life. @soundtrack2ido

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Hope to see you all there!!

Laura Hernandez - April 11, 2014 - 7:39 pm

First, I’m SO glad you got on Instagram. Two, I’m even MORE EXCITED you used this pic as your announcement. It’s totally you. ;)

[…] Soundtrack To I Do […]